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Paranoia-Rama: Sharia In Seattle, SCOTUS Approves Bestiality & Hillary's Lesbian-Islamist Conspiracy

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Have Michigan and Seattle, Washington, embraced Sharia law? Did the Supreme Court legalize pedophilia and bestiality? Is Hillary Clinton a Muslim Brotherhood spy? All of these questions are ridiculous, but not so off-base that conservative pundits aren’t taking them seriously.

5) Seattle Embraces Sharia

The mayor of Seattle recently charged a committee with finding ways to improve the city’s rate of homeownership. Among the proposals the city came up was a recommendation to make it easier for Muslim residents who, for religious reasons, cannot pay interest on loans, to purchase homes through a structured payment plan.

One way of doing this is to have a bank buy a house on the market “for resale to the customer at a price that includes a margin above the costs” and then allow the customer “to repay in installments.”

For anti-Muslim activists, however, this puts Seattle just one small step away from a sweeping imposition of Sharia law.

“Major U.S. City Poised To Implement Islamic Law,” Ctrl+Click or tap to follow the link"> read the headline of an article in WorldNetDaily. The ultraconservative outlet spoke to far-right activist Pamela Geller, who claimed that by “opening the door to Shariah,” the city is now heralding the “subjugation of unbelievers.”

4) Michigan Embraces Sharia

Religious Right leaders have long been warning that parts of Michigan are falling to Sharia law, warnings that may have played a role in one Michigan’s town decision to reject the establishment of a summer camp because the project’s organizer is a Muslim.

As the Huffington Post reported, several residents complained to the local planning commission that the summer camp, which would not have any religious affiliation, could be used as a “training camp” for terrorists.

“I have heard on the news that in every state in the United States we have an ISIS group,” one resident said, while another wondered if there was “anything written on paper that says this isn’t going to be turned into a terrorist training facility.” One official told the Huffington Post that “the whole state of Michigan should be worried” since there are “15 organizations” with possible terrorist ties that are trying to open training camps.

The commission ultimately voted to deny a permit to build the summer camp.

3) Gay Marriage Devastation

The ripple effects of the Supreme Court’s decision on marriage equality continue, at least in the reality-free world of the right-wing media.

Televangelist Pat Robertson said that the court’s ruling paves the way for the legalization of pedophilia, polygamy and “love affairs between men and animals,” while Janet Porter said that very soon Christians will be “carted off to jail” as a result of the Obergefell decision.

But pseudo-historian David Barton’s sharp legal analysis truly demonstrated how out of touch the conservative movement really is on the issue, as he claimed that the court effectively legalized pedophilia with the help of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which he said became law in 2006.

In fact, ENDA is a bill, not a law (Barton can learn about the difference here), and despite Barton’s insistence, ENDA does not include legal protection for pedophiles.

These facts, however, don’t get in the way of Barton’s claim that churches will soon be forced to hire pedophiles to run daycare centers, just as the facts didn’t stop Barton from alleging that the Shepard-Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009 would also legalize pedophilia.

2) The Lesbian Muslim Brotherhood Conspiracy

After proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that President Obama is secretly married to his male Muslim college roommate, WorldNetDaily reporter Jerome Corsi is out to crack his next case: Hillary Clinton’s secret relationship with her aide Huma Abedin.

While speaking with Alex Jones, Corsi revealed that Clinton is hiding not only her secret affair with Abedin but also an arms-smuggling scheme to aid the Muslim Brotherhood.

1) Civil War Or Bust

Conservative talk radio host Michael Savage is convinced that the Obama administration is under the control of Islamist sympathizers and may one day enact reparations for slavery.

The government’s supposed Islamist ties, Savage predicted, may soon pave the way for a “civil war,” which he said would be “overdue” and “the only thing that could save us.”

Savage also told the “criminal in the White House” that he would personally lead an armed rebellion if anyone ever calls for slavery reparations: “I would lead a reparations rebellion in this country. No matter what my age would be, if I had the strength from God, I would lead a reparations rebellion against the government and it would be an armed rebellion. I would lead an armed rebellion against the government if they try to push that one down my throat after ripping off my life with affirmative action and welfare, I’m sick of it!”