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A Ninety-Year-Old Glenn Beck From The Future Will Explain That 2014 Was The Year Religious Freedom Was Lost

On his radio broadcast today, Glenn Beck mentioned that he is bringing in a Hollywood makeup artist tomorrow to make him up to look like a ninety-year-old man so that he can film a segment for his upcoming end-of-the-year special in which he recounts, in the year 2054, how 2014 was the year that religious freedom was lost forever.

As Beck explained, he'll be made up to appear as a decrepit and disheveled ninety-year-old man who lives alone in an abandoned warehouse in post-apocalyptic wasteland in which religion has been outlawed. Secreted away among his belongings, Beck revealed, will be a tattered copy of the Bible, which is now contraband and which merely possessing is enough to get him killed.

And it all began, future Beck will warn, when city officials in Houston, Texas, issued subpoenas to five local pastors in response to a lawsuit filed by anti-gay activists in an effort to overturn the city's nondiscrimination ordinance in 2014: